Thursday, April 28, 2011

What is this I don't even

So I don't have anything particularly exciting to blog about. But I've already written a post about writer's block, and I've rambled endlessly about nothing numerous times, so I will have to think of something else.
I will go look through the pictures on my computer, and see if there's a good one to write about.

    Okay.  What the hell is this? Why is it here? I DON'T RECOGNIZE THIIIISSS. I don't even know what to call it. At first I thought it was a knife, but then I enlarged the picture and it doesn't look like a knife. It resembles an anvil. Kinda. And there's a noose involved.

Oh, great, more mysterious unknown pictures.

This one appears to be a book of some sort. Or a box. Whatever it is, it is very colorful, and colorful is usually good (Unless the "colorful" object being discussed is a clown. Clowns are bad. Always horrendously bad.)
 Oh goody, there's more!

Bloomingdale's? Whyyyy do I have this? I never searched for this.
It's not even that pretty. I don't like it.

WHO ARE YOU FACELESS PEOPLE?? I don't know you.  I never searched for you, or downloaded your picture, or anything. What do you want from meeeee??

Here we have last, and definitely least....A pair of plain ol' boring pearl earrings. I'm not into pearls. Too June Cleaver or something. So WHY is there a picture of them on my computer??

Now that I really look at them...those are kinda ugly. They are oddly shaped pearl things with nothing fancy on them. No offense to you pearl-lovers, that's cool if you like them. I just don't wear them. They're all...round...and white...and not really that shiny. I do however, like black pearls. Black makes pretty much everything better.

Wow. That was really weird. I had no idea these pictures were on my computer. Now I know they're HERE, but how did they GET here?
In that same file was my previous Facebook profile picture, along with the previous profile pictures of my mother, my sister, my fiance, and my friend Amber. Why? WHYYYYY??

Has someone been creeping around my computer, downloading pictures of cakes, books, earrings, newlyweds, and mysterious knife/anvil-like objects?
Has a mysterious stranger been creeping on my friends and family?

I'm scared. O.O
Oh crap.
I think I forgot to take my pills.
IT'S 2 AM.
I'm not sleepy. Seriously like, at all.
It's going to be a very long night.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Those Magic Changes

Ehehehehe, I named this post after a song that basically seems to be about puberty. This amuses me more than it should.

I realized I have not blogged this blog lately.
I have decided to give this blog an actual name, which I have never bothered to do. Shame upon me. But not too much, it could crush me flat.
I never use my Tumblr, but I like the name of my Tumblr, so Imma steal that name (The name, not the url. The url is the same as this one. Except Tumblr, not Blogspot. Creative, ain't I?)

The title is actually named after a Flyleaf EP that I don't have. I have the albums Flyleaf and Memento Mori. I didn't care to name my blog after the band itself, and Memento Mori (Basically, "Remember you will die") could be seen as morbid. And while I do have a love for darker music and such (I have a friend who calls me emo. I am nowhere near emo. XD) I am not seen as morbid. Plus, this is, first and foremost, a humor blog, about my life. You don't title a humor blog about life "Remember You Will Die". While that title could actually be seen in a positive light, I doubt most people would see it that way.
SO I go with something that actually sounds happy.
YAY FOR HAPPY, I LIKE HAPPY. (Which is why I obviously would fail at being emo. I would totally be gothic though. Goths are excellent, and are really not generally worshipers of Satan. Stupid stereotype is stupid.)
I also changed the picture. It is now my brother, my sister, my mom, and me at Berry Springs Park. My other sister was the one taking the picture, so while you can't see her, she is still there. Waaatchiiiing.
Anyway. I'm sort of getting ideas for a new actual post.
That way...this can be a post not only about my new title, but also about other new stuff. :O

Like, see where it used to say "Followers (Stalkers)"? It now says, "All My Little Ducklings". 'Cause ducklings follow. GET IT GET IT?

I thought about changing the layout, but this is the only layout I like. I went with a totally new template to build off of (I could do better if I knew codes and such, but I don't, so I won't). It's raining now. I freaking love rain.
GAH IT WON'T RAIN WHERE I LIVE. It's spring. It's supposed to rain. But noooooo. It's all....SUNNY. -_____-

I changed my colors. I like dem.

So, as for new subjects...I have a video of a creepy toy in Wal*Mart that I could upload (It's already on Facebook) or I could blog about eye doctors. Or if those two subjects are already boring you to tears...I'm sorry, I'll try to think of something else.
I bet I won't even get a response on that. I either have very few readers, or a bunch of silent readers. If you're a silent reader...Speak up for crying out loud, you're making me nervous. O.o

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

It Is Always Morning in Hell

There are morning people. Morning people get up with the sun, and cheerfully stretch and yawn and smile, and revel in the glory of the sunrise and the hope of a new day. They eat a nutritious breakfast, and skip off to work or whatever, singing along with the happily chirping birdies as they wave at the mailman (Or if you're in my neighborhood, the mailman comes in the afternoon, so they have to wave at the trash guys instead).

But I'm not here to write about them. That's basically all I know about the strange ways of morning people.
People like myself prefer the mystery of the night, and occasionally dance around their front yard like a little fairy in the moonlight. They find starlight and night air intoxicating. It's silly to sleep when the world is so full of excellence. They go to sleep very very early in the morning. They prefer to sleep straight through the morning, and are much happier if allowed to do so.
If one disturbs a creature of the night's sleep cycle by having them work mornings, the nocturnal being tends to become pissed off, and generally cranky. Sure, they love their job. And once there, they don't mind, and forget that it is indeed still morning.
It's the getting up that's difficult. First, the alarm goes off. Alarms are terrible. THEY WAKE YOU UUUUUUPPPP. BY BEEPING. Or slightly less offensive weird noises, if you use your cell phone.
The sun has come up, and ruined all the lovely night air. The freaking birds won't shut up. If you have the misfortune of living with morning people. they wish you a cheerful, "Good Morning!". You rip their face off as you stagger past them to the bathroom.
KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FI- Oh. No, no, that's just the mirror.
Now, this may not apply to all nocturnal humans, but I have noticed that most night people do not eat a nutritious breakfast. They have things like chocolate chip cookies, or a slice of mince pie and a Dr.Pepper. And no, this is not just me. My grandmother does it too (It is another observation of mine that elderly people rarely eat healthy. Eating healthy must not be all it's cracked up to be, 'cause hey, they made it this far).
Sometimes you have a particularly bad morning, where you keep dropping things, and hitting your elbows on stuff. You thought this was annoying? It could be worse. Maybe your car sounded funny. So you pull into the parking lot of the Chevron station around the corner from your house, turn the car off, and then attempt to turn it back on again. BUT IT DOESN'T TURN ON. Now you get to walk back home, and enlist the help of your also-barely-awake brother, and his ancient orange Malibu.
The Malibu deserves its own blog post, but since the Malibu is not my friend, I refuse to give it the satisfaction. The Malibu has been christened Ol' Stubborn Stanley.
Stanley runs. Barely. His doors don't stay open, and try to shut on your feet. Don't tip over on the seats. A giant cloud of seat will come up and attack your face (Seats really shouldn't come in clouds. O.o). He's slow. The needle on Stanley speedometer rocks back and forth you go over 40 mph. Actually, I don't even know if it's 40 mph. The needle was rocking back and forth at the time.  Stanley is too old to have a mirror on either side of the car, so the passenger cannot even make faces at herself, or check her hair. Ah well. It gives you more time to pray. Stanley probably runs on prayer more than anything else.
Having said all this, I suppose it is obvious that I hate riding in Stanley. Especially first thing in the morning.
See? SEEEEE how bad mornings can be? THEY'RE EVIL. They are the epitome of badness.
And that is why it is always morning in Hell (Except, presumably, for the morning people. Because then they'd like it there. And they'd be missing the whole point of eternal torment).